Aubrey Plaza Opens Up About Her Grief, Calling It a "Daily Struggle"

American actress Aubrey Plaza, known for her uniquely deadpan comedic style, has spoken candidly about a personal tragedy that marked the beginning of 2025. In January, her husband, filmmaker and writer Jeff Baena, died by suicide at the age of 47. Months after his passing, Plaza opened up about her grief and how she is navigating this immense loss, sharing a powerful and poignant perspective on her emotional state. In an emotional interview with her former Parks and Recreation co-star Amy Poehler, she spoke about her emotions on the "Good Hang" podcast.

During the conversation, which began on a solemn note, Plaza provided a rare glimpse into her emotional world. While she is famously private about her personal life, she chose this platform to be vulnerable and share her ongoing struggle. Her words and the powerful analogy she used to describe her grief have resonated deeply with fans and the public, who have praised her honesty and strength.

A “Daily Struggle” with an Immense Loss

For many years, Aubrey Plaza and Jeff Baena were both collaborators and partners in their personal lives. The couple began dating in 2011 and tied the knot a decade later, in 2021. Their bond was not only a romantic one but also a creative collaboration, as they worked together on several films, including Life After Beth and The Little Hours. However, a report from the Los Angeles County medical examiner's office revealed a tragic and complicated layer to their relationship. According to the report, the couple had quietly separated in September 2024, though they were still legally married at the time of Baena's death in January. This detail adds a somber and complex dimension to Plaza's grief, as she mourns a partner with whom she was no longer living.

Responding to Amy Poehler's question about how she was doing, Plaza's answer was both heartbreakingly raw and resilient. She chose to focus on her current emotional state, telling Poehler, "Right in this very, very present moment, I feel happy to be with you. Overall, I’m here and I’m functioning." She continued, expressing a sense of gratitude for her ability to continue with her life, but also acknowledging the profound difficulty of her new reality. She said she was thankful for being able to continue navigating her daily life. "I think I’m okay, but it’s like a daily struggle.” Her words conveyed the immense effort it takes to get through each day while grieving such an unimaginable loss.

A Cinematic Analogy for Grief

Ever the creative artist, Plaza turned to a powerful film analogy to help describe her struggle, referencing a recent movie titled The Gorge. While she noted the analogy was a bit "dumb" and had started as a joke, she insisted that it perfectly captured the essence of her grief. In the film, characters are trapped on a narrow path with a treacherous gorge on either side, filled with dangerous, monstrous creatures. It is in this unsettling visual that Plaza found a perfect metaphor for her emotional state.

Drawing an analogy from a movie, Plaza explained that her grief feels like a "giant ocean of awfulness" she can always see. For Plaza, this ocean represents the all-consuming nature of grief—a vast and terrifying abyss of sorrow that never truly goes away. She admitted that sometimes she wants to "dive into it and be in it," but at other moments, she simply looks at it. Sometimes I try to get away from it. But it’s always there, and the monster people are trying to get me.” This honest, vulnerable admission highlights the constant, internal battle of grief—the temptation to give in to the sadness, the effort to move past it, and the acknowledgment that it will never be fully gone.

Remembering Jeff Baena's Legacy

While the tragedy has brought renewed attention to Aubrey Plaza, it also serves as a somber reminder of the life and work of Jeff Baena. As a director and screenwriter, Baena was a respected figure in the film industry. He was best known for his work as the co-writer of the 2004 film I Heart Huckabees, a project that earned him a Gotham Award nomination for Best Feature. He continued to build a notable filmography, writing and directing a number of well-received films, many of which starred Plaza, including Life After Beth and The Little Hours. His other works include the 2020 thriller Horse Girl and the 2022 dark comedy Spin Me Round.

In addition to his film work, he also created the anthology comedy series Cinema Toast, which featured an episode directed by Plaza. His creative partnership with Plaza was a defining aspect of his career, showcasing a unique and shared comedic sensibility.

A Return to the Screen

As she continues to navigate this profound loss, Aubrey Plaza is preparing to make her first return to the big screen since her husband’s death. She is set to star alongside Margaret Qualley in the upcoming crime comedy Honey Don’t!, which is scheduled for release in UK cinemas on September 5th. Her decision to return to work, even while grappling with her grief, is a testament to her strength and resilience.

Plaza’s willingness to share her deeply personal struggle has made an impact on countless fans who have been touched by her honesty and her poetic description of grief. Her ability to articulate such a universal and painful experience so candidly serves as a reminder that even the most famous public figures face personal battles behind the scenes. Her words have helped many feel seen in their own struggles, turning a private tragedy into a public moment of shared empathy.